The part of the body that creates the most distress in human relationships is the tongue. As the old saying goes, “out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.” Being careful about our own emotional state, watching our attitude, and being mindful of our own stress reactions can go a long way in improving the way we communicate with others. I hope you enjoy this week’s principle.
Words. The words we use and the way we communicate will have a direct impact on the responses we receive from others. If we seek a particular concession, we must lay the proper groundwork and use the right words to create the appropriate incentives. It’s the way humanity works best. If you want your teenage son to show more respect toward his mother, appealing to his personal likes and dislikes, helping him to feel the way he makes others feel, will likely produce a better result than humiliating him in front of his siblings. To be effective at influence, we must always maintain composure, determine the likely outcome of what we say before we say it (and, make appropriate changes ahead of time), and keep other’s best interest in mind. The truth is, our conversations will help or hurt, heal or wound, encourage or deflate depending on the words we use. There really is no such thing as idle influence when communicating with another person.
Coaching questions: How would others rate you with respect to your ability to use the right words? What are some important personal changes you could make, to secure better results from those under your care?
ead more coaching principles from Dean Harbry on the Internal Innovations website.